Conversations with the Universe

Today I had planned to make a Reel for Instagram taking my followers behind the scenes on my last-minute workshop preparations.

You noticed the “had planned”, right?

Yeah. Unfortunately, we had to cancel my workshop. There just weren’t enough people interested, or at least – none that bought tickets. Was I disappointed?

Um, yes!

I was really upset about all the hard work I’d put into it, the time, the hopes that it would bring me more reach in my region and hopefully more clients. I was sad for the fact that I had really needed to gather a lot of courage to step out of my comfort zone in the first place to be able to even give a workshop, never mind one in German. And that now it felt like all that courage I had built up was for nothing.

I started to question what I was doing it all for and whether any of it was doing anything for me.

I started to doubt.

I even turned to the universe. I consulted my more spiritual sister, who told me to ask the universe for 2 signs: one that it was all going to work out or a different one if it wasn’t.

There follows a long sequence of me not accepting signs, changing the sign, brainstorming several sign options, miscommunicating the sign and everything in between. I’m new to communicating with the universe, maybe you can tell? 😉

In any case, at some point I interpreted a sign coming through that it wasn’t all going to work out. So, I kept looking. I looked and looked. Until I realized that you can’t really state that the universe is giving you signs when you just keep digging till you “magically” find the one you want. I don’t think that’s how it works. Sadly.

So, I asked myself: “What’s the plan here? You get a sign that everything will work out and then, yay! You keep on going. But if you get a sign that it isn’t going to happen for you, then what? You quit? Give up? Say you gave it your best, but the universe wants you to stop trying?”

And then it hit me:

No. That’s not how this is going to play out.

Because I don’t know how to give up. I't just not who I am.

And because this is what I really, really want.

So I decided that the signs can (ahem…) take a hike. I’m going to find a way to make it work. Period.

And do you know what? Once I had decided that, all the signs came to me over the span of 1.5 hours during a movie I was watching with my son.

Maybe the universe is on my side after all 😉